The Right Way to Tell Someone You’re Worried About Their Weight Loss

Most people know the rule: Never comment on another person's body. People experiencing weight loss often find themselves fielding comments regardless. And if they have an eating disorder, both the comments and the silence can fuel it in different ways.Dr. Jennifer L. Gaudiani, an internist in Denver who specializes in eating disorders, says patients tell her some version of the same thing all the time: “Nobody said a word while I disappeared, and it messed with my head.”“The actual comment or the absence of the comment are both instantly absorbed and processed in ways that can be really undermining and painful,” she says. “If somebody says something positive, the eating disorder goes, ‘Well, I'm clearly not sick enough to warrant anyone's concern, and my therapist must be wrong, because people keep telling me I look good,’” Gaudiani says. “And if it's the other direction, then the eating disorder is like, ‘Oh my gosh, kick it into gear. You gotta really go harder.’”That leaves anyone who’s genuinely concerned in a difficult position: Say the wrong thing, and you could make things worse; say nothing, and your silence might say something you never intended. The good news is that ther...