6 Signs Your Venting Is Straining Your Relationships

—Science Photo Library—Getty ImagesTwenty minutes ago, you called a friend to complain about something your boss said. Since then, you’ve reconstructed his exact tone—don’t you hate it when someone says “interesting” like that?—supplied three years of relevant backstory, and pulled up six Slack messages that prove this wasn’t an isolated incident. Your friend has contributed the occasional “ugh” and “wow.” You are nowhere near finished.Sometimes, it just feels good to say the petty, uncharitable thing out loud to someone who won't forward it to HR. A venting session can be validating, cathartic, and even productive if it helps you figure out your next steps.“Venting is discrete,” says Jenny Martin, a psychologist and founder of Gemstone Wellness, a trauma-informed practice in Chicago. “It has a beginning, a middle, and an end.” Read more: How to Tell If You’re Trauma Dumping or Just VentingBut venting can also keep you stuck—not to mention, exhaust the person listening. The distinction isn’t whether you complain, get worked up, or talk for a long time. It’s whether the conversation eventually moves somewhere, and whether the other person still feels like a participant rather than a...