How to Tell When Caregiver Stress Is Harming Your Health

Sue Ryan had been her husband’s sole caregiver for just under five years before her facade of keeping it all together first began to crack. It was a long time coming. She’d spent countless nights up late correcting mistakes in the household finances—a task her husband had handled before Alzheimer’s disease made it difficult. She no longer went to the gym, or on walks, or to her own medical appointments. She waved away every offer of help with some version of No, no, I’ve got this.So when Ryan watched the potato chip fall from her husband’s lunch plate, she felt a flash of anger: I’ve been doing all these things for you. You can’t even keep a potato chip on your plate?She didn’t say it. She gave him more chips, told him, “Honey, I’ll be right back,” and retreated to the bathroom, where she sat down and began to shake. “Oh my gracious,” she remembers thinking. “What just happened?”Ryan, who has spent 40 years caring for various family members and co-founded the caregiver-support organization The Caregiver’s Journey, had been sacrificing pieces of her own life without tallying the toll. “I didn’t realize the impact of giving up a little bit here, shaving this off, shaving that off,” s...