How to Navigate Family Dysfunction During the Holidays

Happy holidays! ‘Tis the season of celebration and memory making with the happiest and most harmonious people in your life: your family. These folks never judge, begrudge or misunderstand you. The sheer concept of a fight is unimaginable to them if it doesn’t involve a snowball. Oh, wait, that’s a Hallmark movie. Scratch that. Here in reality, even the most “normal” family has something dysfunctional going on and it can make the holidays stressful and even dreadful. Rose L, for example, loves her in-laws but is anxious thinking about spending the holidays with them because they make her feel alienated and tokenized.“I’m a Southeast Asian woman, and my children are biracial,” Rose said. “My husband’s family are white and have a sort of small world mentality. When we spend holidays with them, I endure questions like, ‘Did your mom prepare duck at home when you were growing up?’ And every single year someone has to tell me the story about the one time they went to a Vietnamese restaurant in town and how much they loved it.”How can Rose and the rest of us navigate family dysfunction at holiday functions and possibly even enjoy our time together? Set boundaries around what you will and ...