What to Say When Someone Shows Up Sick

Your colleague has a fever, a packed calendar, and no intention of missing your 2 p.m. meeting. They make all of this clear as they plop down next to you in that stuffy conference room with a door someone has helpfully just closed. You’re less impressed by their work ethic than concerned about spending the next hour breathing the same air—yet saying something makes you feel like the rude one.Should you suggest they go home? Ask your boss to intervene? Subtly inch toward an open window? And how do you account for the possibility that they don’t feel they have a choice about being there?The same awkwardness can occur at home, where a friend arrives for dinner and mentions they’ve felt terrible all day—right after you hugged them hello. Asking them to leave can feel like delivering two uncomfortable messages: You did something wrong, and I don’t want you here, says Vanessa Bohns, a social psychologist at Cornell University and author of Should I Say Something?: The Science of What to Share—and What to Keep to Yourself.“If you say something to someone and you call them out, in a way you’re judging them,” she says. “It threatens their standing as a good person.” Suggesting they head hom...